Love Lost/Lost Love

Love Lost/Lost Love…when think of love you both smile and cry or you are scream and cry. No matter how the thought of love makes you feel, it is what we all desire to give and receive most in life.
I loved you then and I love you now. Even though you have lied to me even if by omission, used me, abused me (yes, I knew this too) It never changed my love for you. You have chosen others over me (sometimes I’m like really WOW). Though I have been angry and hurt to the point of unforgiveness (and often times asked why what did, I do to deserve this, the love never changed). Yet because of the love, I have for you I chose to forgive (eventually). Yet here we are at a cross and you have yet to be completely honest, you have yet to return even a measure of the love I have for you. Yes you occasionally whisper those 3 words I long to hear, but it is not from a place of sincerity.
Here I am writing you this just to let you know I am waiting, waiting for honesty, sincerity.
When I sat down to write this I was writing from my heart a place of pain a place of confusion. (Don’t judge me, at some point you have been there) But in my writing, I began to wonder if this was in fact what I was doing to God? And if I were to be completely honest, my answer would be without a doubt ‘YES’. Not just once or twice but quite a few times. Yet and still He has loved me through it all. Frankly, I am amazed at how much He loves me unlike any other in my life. God has told me very plainly time and time again “Chavela, I love you and there is nothing you can do about it”. Of all the other people and things that I have put before Him and His call on my life He still loves me. All I can say is Hallelujah, Thank you God.
Once again thank you for going with me on this journey. As I pray for you remember to pray for me.
In Him Alone,
Chavela (Movement) Garrett